Off.the.Record

The 'Real' New Semester Part II
17.8.06

I am feeling down again. If just now I played with that stupid IMVU (again), it was because I wanted to get rid off my infuriating course for a while. I don't know for how many times I feel down. I am wasting my time yet I couldn't help myself start to do all my assignments.

Are these the symptoms of giving up?
I am blogging now in the very early morning, sitting on my bed like an idiot and feeling that my hands are shaking terribly due to tense on my nerves (I guess, I am not trying to be smart). I think whenever I feel bad about the situation, I like to do some kinds of reflection on myself and other things. I also love to sleep a lot when I encounter problems that eat my head up. Apart from that, I feel that I am being upside down all over the time. Sometimes I am so enthusiastic about my public relations units. I tell myself that I am willing to face the challenge of my life. However, I could completely change my mind at any minute. I feel that I am fooling around for a bleak future. Like my Dad said, when I got a chance to be my own boss, I, for no apparent reason, chose to be an employee.

I know it is really wrong. There is no bleak future for me. But I am helpless when I think every possible detail that might happen to me. For example, this is my stupid thought ever (please, laughing is not allowed!), I pictured myself working in a company. The employer were Australians and so were the most of employees. I was thinking how I could get along with them. It would not be possible while at the moment I couldn't make friends with them at all.

Fiuh. It seems that I only see inside the box when the thngs are logical to me.

Annice @ 2:41 am
God loves you always
------------

because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God - Romans 8:14